Thursday, July 17, 2008

Can I be a single parent?

I wish that my life could be easy. That I could have the picture perfect life that I always see on TV. But, I guess that life isn't for me. Daryl is driving me insane. I try to help him out with the things that he wants, and what does he do, he bites me in the ass and tells me to screw myself. Not literally, but metaphorically.

Both kids are in daycare, and he still hasn't looked for a job. He doesn't even want to get up in the morning to take his son to daycare. I don't want to get on the bus with both kids if he's around. It doesn't seem fair to me. He wants me to take care of him, and give him everything that he wants, for nothing in return.

I tell him that he should clean the house, and keep it clean since he's home during the day. In return, he tells me that he wants me to show him more affection. Which it has been lacking lately, because I am just so frustrated with him that I feel no type of affection towards him whatsoever. So, I told him, OK. This worked for two days. Then, we went shopping, and bought him some clothes and a Nintendo DS for me, and Damian. We were out so late, and Damian started acting out, because he was hungry. But, his dad just yelled at him, and didn't even acknoeledge the fact that he was acting out because he was hungry. So, we came home that night, and I went to bed, so there was no cuddling. Then yesterday, I came home, and the house was messy, and he didn't even attempt to clean after I got home.

I don't think that I can even do anymore of the kissing and cuddling, definitely no s3x. I can't handle it emotionally opening myself up like that to someone who doesn't appreciate the things that I do for them. He's becoming too lazy for me. Won't even watch his own kids during the day, to save me some money.I don't think that I can take it anymore.

After I had Damian, I stayed home, and he worked. No, I didn't clean much. But, I took care of the baby, and didn't sit on my ass playing the video game all day long. I made sure to do things that were educational and enjoyable for him. I stayed home for 9 months, then I got a job, went back to school, and contributed to our household income.

He hasn't had a job since Damian turned 1. The boy is now 2 and a half, and he hasn't looked for work yet. Then today, I asked him to take some packages to the post office, clean the apartment, and pay the rent. He went shopping with his friend, "tried" to pay the rent, and didn't think about cleaning. I know that he won't clean, because his friend is that and they are playing the video game. I asked him to not have anyone in the house if it is messy. Does he care? NO!


Christina said...

There's a thing I call "addition by subtraction". Basically, by getting rid of something/someone, you end up in a better place, i.e. with more than you had before.

It must be very frightening to think about being a single parent to 2 kids, but it sounds like you're already there. Daryl is actually being child #3, and that's not a partner. He's not contributing to the house, the finances, childcare ... I know it sounds extremely harsh, but you're life would absolutely be easier without him, and there'd be one less mouth to feed! Also (and this is a BIG thing to think about) your son is learning how to be a man from his father. I'm sure you can raise a much more respectful, loving and considerate son on your own.

I hope things get easier for you. I've been with my share of Daryls (although before I had kids) and even though it was always really hard to do, I NEVER regretted removing them from my life. My best friend is going through exactly what you're going through now, and I wish every day that she would move on. Be well and take care of yourself and your children.

Molly said...

I'm sorry things are not going great.
He is acting like a child.
I know I would not be able to take it.
If he is not going to get a job, he needs to watch the kids during the day, and clean, period.